NERD PATROL

I couldn't put this in the last blog, because it really deserved a posting of it's own. For some reason, I didn't catch a pic of Camie - sorry, but you should be actually pretty glad I'm not adding you to the Nerd Patrol.

We rented scooters on the island for the 4 days we were there. I thought "Hey, it has to be safe. The island is only 20 square miles, the top speed limit is 25, and they let retarded tourists ride their scooters. It has to be safe, right?". Well I was wrong, horribly wrong.

To start, if you want to pee your pants laughing, just stand outside the rental shop and look at all the tards in the helmets. Then it gets better, everybody's helmets are on crooked, or 80 feet higher than their head, and they are all trying to ride a scooter for the first time. Either they start way too fast and then immediately do a brake check, or they totally wobble and almost loose it for a few seconds. It's so hilarious.

So, the locals drive cars, big rigs (yes, big trucks)and scooters and they do NOT DRIVE 25 MPH! They are going around you extremely fast, or tailing you from about 2 feet behind (I'm not kidding!). The roads are extremely winding and almost every curve is a blind curve. There are no shoulders or sidewalks on the side of the roads and no turn lanes either! We also had to get used to driving on the left hand side of the road.

I thought I was going to loose it when I saw Dad trying to show off to Brian and Laurel by passing them. As he was going around them and laughing at them he totally hit the curb and started wobbling. I thought he was going to biff it. The funniest was to see how freaked out he was trying to control the bike. It was so dang funny. I laugh even now as I think about it.

THEN, Camie was trying to make a right handed u-turn when she went straight into a wall/sign. I couldn't stop laughing then either.

I missed Mom's biff in front of the "trolley" that takes everyone from the ship to the dock yard. She had to stand up and get back on her bike in front of everyone. Pretty sweet.

So, the best part is, I thought to myself "this is going to be a piece of cake! I'm totally going to show off my sweet riding skills and leave everybody in the dust. They are going to be so jealous of how cool I am". Well, let's just say my skills are so incredibly awesome that I decided to amaze everyone with a stunt of my own. I PURPOSELY took my hog about 5 feet up a palm tree. I then PURPOSELY landed on my back and decided to see how much weight I could take on my legs. I MADE SURE my scooter landed right on my leg, and yes you guessed it, I was awesome. I only got a scratch on my toe, that's how good I am. I know, I know. You now you feel the jealousy that my family felt when they saw me pull that death defying stunt. Hot Rod, eat your heart out. Next time I'm going to charge admission. (Or at least make sure somebody has a camera so I can win America's Funniest Home Videos.)
My Boydie didn't look like a nerd! He's my stud on the road hog!