Monday, April 28, 2008

Goodbye China, Hello America!

23 hours and counting until I'll be leaving!

Things I can't wait to leave:

Cigarette smoke

Pee soaked squat pots

Chinese food

Sore feet

Dirty air

Dirtier hotel rooms


No English

Stinkiest smells EVER!


Things I can't wait to see:

My family

Blue sky

Clean air

Clean bed

Clean carpet

Clean people

Good food

My friends

My home

Things I can't wait to smell:

Everything not in China

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


I am leaving for China today! I'm going for business and am looking forward to opening some direct business relations there. However, I'm really struggling with leaving the boys. All 4 of them. I miss them so much when I'm gone and I was just gone to Bermuda! I hope the time goes by fast, but gone nearly 2 weeks and sharing a room probably won't go too fast.
I went to Walmart tonight (which I NEVER do) and bought some last minute things for the trip. Well, I thought my boys had grabbed the bags (everything was relatively small), but didn't realize until we got to the car that they hadn't! We ran back in and the checker said she didn't have our bags and said that she even checked when we left. Well, we didn't have them! Needless to say, I have to go in at 7:00 in the morn and have the manager watch the security tape to see what happened. If it shows that the person after me took the bags, they'll replace my stuff. It was about $100.00 worth of stuff!
So, ching wada pigu (I have not idea how to spell chinese) and hun cho! Translation: kiss my but, how smelly! I'm sure I'll make lots of new friends!


I couldn't put this in the last blog, because it really deserved a posting of it's own. For some reason, I didn't catch a pic of Camie - sorry, but you should be actually pretty glad I'm not adding you to the Nerd Patrol.

We rented scooters on the island for the 4 days we were there. I thought "Hey, it has to be safe. The island is only 20 square miles, the top speed limit is 25, and they let retarded tourists ride their scooters. It has to be safe, right?". Well I was wrong, horribly wrong.

To start, if you want to pee your pants laughing, just stand outside the rental shop and look at all the tards in the helmets. Then it gets better, everybody's helmets are on crooked, or 80 feet higher than their head, and they are all trying to ride a scooter for the first time. Either they start way too fast and then immediately do a brake check, or they totally wobble and almost loose it for a few seconds. It's so hilarious.

So, the locals drive cars, big rigs (yes, big trucks)and scooters and they do NOT DRIVE 25 MPH! They are going around you extremely fast, or tailing you from about 2 feet behind (I'm not kidding!). The roads are extremely winding and almost every curve is a blind curve. There are no shoulders or sidewalks on the side of the roads and no turn lanes either! We also had to get used to driving on the left hand side of the road.

I thought I was going to loose it when I saw Dad trying to show off to Brian and Laurel by passing them. As he was going around them and laughing at them he totally hit the curb and started wobbling. I thought he was going to biff it. The funniest was to see how freaked out he was trying to control the bike. It was so dang funny. I laugh even now as I think about it.

THEN, Camie was trying to make a right handed u-turn when she went straight into a wall/sign. I couldn't stop laughing then either.

I missed Mom's biff in front of the "trolley" that takes everyone from the ship to the dock yard. She had to stand up and get back on her bike in front of everyone. Pretty sweet.

So, the best part is, I thought to myself "this is going to be a piece of cake! I'm totally going to show off my sweet riding skills and leave everybody in the dust. They are going to be so jealous of how cool I am". Well, let's just say my skills are so incredibly awesome that I decided to amaze everyone with a stunt of my own. I PURPOSELY took my hog about 5 feet up a palm tree. I then PURPOSELY landed on my back and decided to see how much weight I could take on my legs. I MADE SURE my scooter landed right on my leg, and yes you guessed it, I was awesome. I only got a scratch on my toe, that's how good I am. I know, I know. You now you feel the jealousy that my family felt when they saw me pull that death defying stunt. Hot Rod, eat your heart out. Next time I'm going to charge admission. (Or at least make sure somebody has a camera so I can win America's Funniest Home Videos.)
My Boydie didn't look like a nerd! He's my stud on the road hog!

Bermuda 2008

Our cruise to Bermuda was so much fun. Not only was Bermuda really like the last photo I posted (stunningly beautiful), but the company was fantastic! It was my favorite cruise we've been on so far.

We sailed out of New York (I love NY) and stayed the entire time in Bermuda.

I had to post this photo, I look totally freaky, but hey, we flew the red eye out and hadn't had any sleep the night before! I post it because I kept making my dad laugh by saying "Please sir, can I have some more?" Check out the hat and stringy hair, you'll get it....

I have to admit, we only had 1 day of really good weather. This is what our first day looked like, however, it was still amazing.

Luckily, Laurel and I spent the 1 good day at the beach while the boys and Mom and Camie went deep sea fishing. Check out Laurel's blog to see the craziness that ensued at the beach. We spyed this chick in a short sleeved wet suit (let's just say she shouldn't have been wearing any sort of tight fitting ensamble) with long stringy hair that could have been a mullett. However, we couldnt' really tell because it was under a cowboy hat.

> The history of Bermuda is amazing, and many of the old buildings from the 1600's are still standing. It's so incredibly beautiful - the scenery and the historic buildings make an amazing combination. We visited the oldest church in the Western Hemisphere! Who would have thought it was in Bermuda!

Laurel kept me in laughing the entire time and I really just enjoyed Boyd and my family.